I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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