I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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