Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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