I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
