As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
