Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
