Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
