So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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