I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
