i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How's work?
Spinning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Someone came in the potted fern
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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