so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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