i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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