It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
