I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
