Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
