I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
