let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
