We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
