He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
