i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
