Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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