my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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