Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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