I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
