If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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