All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
