i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
