if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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