It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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