im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
where am i from again
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
