i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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