if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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