i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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