i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
