The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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