that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
