you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
