As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
