fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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