Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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