last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
