Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
