Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
