Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
