I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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