Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
