did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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