loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
