We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
