You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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